If we heard any noise of anyone waking up, we would just pull away and freeze in place. Then somewhere along the way he came up with the idea that he would wear his pajamas backwards.and i could rub it between his thighs. Some times we would compare sizes under the sheets with our hands. Just being next to a body i would get hard.and he would joke about it. He used to visit us often with his mom and dad, Due to lack of space at our place, I would have to give up my bed to his mom and dad.and he and I would have to sleep on the sofa bed in the living room. So this is when i was about 19 and my cousin who was 18. I came out at 16, shortly after I discovered I was gay.This happened with a cousin of mine who was a bit younger. To me, coming out was all about being true to myself. I totally rejected the idea that I should hide how I felt, as if it was wrong or horrible. I also wasn’t comfortable with lying about who I was or who I loved. However, my strong feelings on the subject didn’t exactly prepare me for how difficult stepping out of “the closet” into the big, bright world would be or how deeply it would affect me and those around me. I came out to three distinct groups: my friends, my school and lastly, my family. I told my friends individually, and their responses varied from confused to unsurprised. Regardless of their initial reaction, all my friends eventually accepted me. They all became completely comfortable with it in their eyes it was just part of who I was. My honesty really strengthened our friendships, and their support became an invaluable resource for me for years to come. Coming out to my friends was one thing coming out to the rest of my high school was another. My girlfriend and I decided that while we wouldn’t shout from the rooftops, we also wouldn’t hide that we were dating. Unfortunately, my high school is rather conservative, and being the first openly gay couple wasn’t very easy. My girlfriend and I faced discrimination and harassment from both students and faculty. We got detentions for hugging and homophobic comments hissed at us behind our backs. I remember the helpless anger I felt when I realized that my school wasn’t going to do much to help us. The frustrating thing was that we weren’t trying to make a splash or a sensation we just wanted to be treated like any other people and any other couple. Fortunately, after a few months, things started getting better, and slowly, people became more tolerant. Once I had come out to my friends and my school, I started feeling more and more uncomfortable that I had not yet told my family. The main thing holding me back was fear of my parents’ reaction. They were open and accepting people, but I still doubted they’d be thrilled that I wasn’t “normal.” I prepared many different speeches in my head and was waiting for the right opportunity.
Unfortunately, my school administration eliminated that opportunity by informing my mother after a parent wrote a letter to the school, complaining that her child had to be “exposed” to my girlfriend and me. When I got home that day, my mom met me at the door, looking concerned. I braced myself, but she sat me down and told me she loved me no matter what and that while she wasn’t happy with the way she had to find out, she wanted me to know she would support me.
I was overwhelmed by my mom’s reaction, and it brought us closer than ever.
While coming out at such a young age was difficult, I have no regrets.
I can be myself, knowing that the people I love support and accept me.